1.  Does it matter if my spouse is cheating on me?

Both Oregon and Washington are no fault divorce states.  This means that it will not affect your case if you prove to the Judge that your spouse was cheating on you and thus at fault for the divorce.  The Judge is still obligated to divide your assets in a fair and equitable manner; your spouse is still able to receive spousal support and have custody of the children.  For you, this is an emotional issue.  With your attorney’s help, you will be able to take some of the emotion out of your decisions about your divorce.  It helps to think of your former spouse as a business partner.  It is now time to divide up the assets and debts of the business and come up with a cooperative plan going forward to continue to raise  your children together. Although it may be difficult at first when an affair was the cause of your divorce, you have to remember that someday you too will likely have a new partner.  If you are the person who is in the midst of the affair that is contributing to your divorce, we know that there were mistakes made on both sides.  Your “cheating” should not affect the outcome of your divorce case in a no fault divorce state.

2.  Is there ever a reason that my spouse’s new boyfriend or girlfriend could be an issue in my divorce case?

There are a few times that the relationship with a  new partner could still have an effect on your divorce despite the fact that we are in a no fault divorce state.  One reason would be if that new partner is not a safe person for your children to be around.  We have had many cases over the years where one spouse insists on staying together with a boyfriend or girlfriend who has committed domestic violence, crimes, or had addiction issues.  Because this new partner is not safe to be around the children, a court may limit the parenting time of the spouse who continues to keep this person in his or her life.  Another time that this new relationship might be important is if the new partner is now living with one spouse and helping to pay the bills.  If that relationship continues on for a long period of time, this may limit the amount of spousal support that will be paid because a new partner is helping with expenses for the spouse receiving support.  Finally, another area that might be important is when there is a new boyfriend or girlfriend and one spouse is spending significant money on that person while the other spouse (and children) are struggling to make ends meet.  It is important to remember that the soon to be ex spouse and the children of the marriage are going to have a higher priority to the money that the other spouse is making than a new girlfriend or boyfriend.

3. Can I use information I find on social media to prove things about my soon to be ex?

Absolutely Yes.  Beware of what you post on social media.  It is extremely common for facebook and instagram posts as well as text messages to be brought into court to prove an affair, a partying lifestyle or the spending of family assets on vacations, etc.  Social media posts are fair game in a divorce.